Category Archives: Humour

Scourge Chat!

…it’s like Barrens Chat, only with more lol.

Go! Read!


[theLichKing]: I was thinking. How much trouble do you think it would be to have a thermostat installed in the Throne Room?

[Kel’Thuz4d]: …

[Kel’Thuz4d]: y?

[theLichKing]: It’s really really cold in here.

[theLichKing]: I’m Lord of the Scourge. I think I should get a thermostat.

[Kel’Thuz4d]: no its a frozen throne

Comedy gold!

Sometimes Buffs Don’t Help!

At the moment my guild only has two raiding mages, one of whom has been unavailable for a while. The other mage has been jokingly complaining for weeks about the cost of reagents for mage tables to feed us shiftless leeches. Tonight, this conversation ensued:

Mage: omg Arcane Powder stacks to 100!
Me: And yet you’ll still bitch about not having reagents for tables. ;-)
Mage: Only if the guild pays for my reagents. [paraphrased]
Me: We don’t subsidise anyone else’s… ;)
Mage: Yes, but I’m not just anybody :)
Me: This is true, you’re not anybody.
Mage: Hey!
Mage: It costs 1g per arcane powder, and I just bought 100, so just send my bank alt 100g
Me: Actually, it costs 8s per arcane powder.
Other Paladin: That’s the last time I pay for a reagent to buff him.
Me: So it costs you 8s to buff the raid, and 40s to put up a table.
Mage: Not only will you not pay me, you don’t believe you when I tell you how much they cost – I’m hurt
Me: I am looking at a reagent vendor right here! :D
Mage: He lies. Never did trust that reagent vendor.
Me: I should note that it costs me 8.4s to buff the raid
Me: So it costs me MORE to buff the raid than you
Other Paladin: Us!
Me: Not to mention I have to cast 7 times to your once. [I’m usually on Blessing of Wisdom, for the 7 mana-using classes.]
Mage: Well, my buffs last longer!
Me: True!
Mage: Hmm, that doesn’t help me actually… forget that.
Me: So it costs me twice what it costs you!
Other Paladin: OMG! We have to buff TWICE on top of that…
Me: Per hour, it costs me 16.8s to buff the raid and requires 14 button presses
Mage: Ok, this isn’t going the way I wanted it to
Me: Per hour, it costs you 8s to buff the raid and requires one button press
Mage: lalalalalalalala
Other Paladin: It’s now clear exactly how much you suck!
Me: Oh, and if you have a second mage in the raid, you only have to pay half the buffing costs; we have to do a buff each.
Mage: I have to put a table down – that’s 5 arcane powder!
Mage: HAH checkmate
Me: Over the duration of a raid, assuming you’re the only mage, it costs me 35.2 silver more to buff the raid
Mage: I said checkmate … that means I win
Me: Therefore, the guild bank will pay you 4.8s per raid to put down a table and not bitch about it.
Other Paladin: Can I kick him from the guild?
Me: Oh, and you still only have to do 5 keypresses for that, as compared to my 28.
Other Paladin: Actually, I’d pay twice that if he didn’t bitch, personally.
Mage: I’m going AFK, you all suck!
Me: In conclusion, hand over the strudel and no-one gets hurt!
Me: I am so blogging this.
Mage: Typical. :P

Moral of the story: never argue with a paladin who’s trying to procrastinate away her dailies!

Edit: I should clarify: the mage in question is the very epitome of ‘friendly, helpful players’, and the day he seriously refuses to buff because of reagent costs is the day I check to see whether he’s been replaced by an alien.

(My guide for spotting it is going to be: if he can blink when he tries, instead of iceblocking, summoning his water elemental or summoning his mirror images – then he’s been replaced by an alien!)

What Didn’t I Know?

Larisa of the Pink Pigtail Inn posted some entertaining stories today, recounting times when she found out she “had it all wrong”.

I never committed any of the (very entertaining!) faux pas on Larisa’s list, but I made plenty of my own – and I wasn’t even new to MMOs!

For instance, a friend who shall remain nameless (I’m looking at you, Ror!) told me that killing critters decreased your reputation with your home city and guards would attack you if you did it near them. I believed that one for about forty levels!

Or how about the fact that I was levelling leatherworking and skinning on my paladin, because I thought leatherworking sounded like fun?

Or the fact that I bought the whole Imperial Plate set for my paladin, and wore it as my main armor, despite the fact that I considered myself a healer? (Let’s not even talk about the fact that I started off healing Molten Core with a Retribution spec, and thought having a high mana pool was more important than that silly low “mana per 5 seconds” thing.)

I’m not alone, of course – we’ve all made mistakes like that. I canvassed the BlogAzeroth Chat people for some of theirs.

Saresa of Destructive Reach told us:

i think the dumbest thing that I ever did (that I haven’t posted about) was to insist on walking or riding EVERYWHERE up to level 45 or so… I was stingy and thought that if I flew everywhere it would send me broke.

Sar may feel better to know that I used to refuse to send mail because I worried about the 30 copper cost.

Euripedes of Critical QQ related:

A while back, I believe I was in my mid 40’s, I found a bunch of Furblogs in Azshara. Just standing around… so I killed one. “Reputation with Timbermaw decreased by…” What the hell is a Timbermaw?

So I grinded these furblogs for about 5 hours. They had excellent cloth drops.

So then, a few levels later, attempted to get to Winterspring… and there was this stupid tunnel full of these damn furblogs! So I ran through, in ammy my fiery prowess, burning them all down until I emerged from the other side bloody, beaten, and damn well hated by furblogs everywhere.

To this day, my reputation with them is at Unfriendly. It took me a long, long time to grind that reputation back up to Unfriendly.

(I’m kinda glad I never hit Azshara until I was 60, else I might well have done the same thing.)

So the next time you nub it up, remember: You are not alone!

Terrible Character Names I’ve Seen

Ihealu (or any of the countless variations thereon)
Wontheal (now there’s a priest I want to run with, oh yes)
Damagecapz (yes, it’s a mage)
Chainhealz (no prizes for guessing which class this is)

In the good old days, all of these would have earnt the player a forced name change for contravening Blizzard’s naming policy. These days, all they earn is the scorn and derision of players around them…

“Too much WoW”? What’s that?

You know you’ve been playing WoW too long when you’re thinking about what to cook for dinner and you decide on a recipe, and then think “Oh wait, do I have the mats for that?”

In other news, Sailan – my main, my much-loved and comfortable pally – has just hit 200 days of /played time. Yes, I can stop any time I want to, honest.

Where’s… Rodjur?!

I can’t actually remember what I opened up my blogging client to post – but that’s okay, because I have a great blog link to share. :)

Where’s Rodjur? is the adventures of a very goodnatured little undead tourist, as he travels around Azeroth taking holiday snaps and trying to return his camera to its owner – one Paula Rhoid, of Gnomeregan.

I am very much looking forward to more of Rodjur’s adventures. :)