Sometimes Buffs Don’t Help!

At the moment my guild only has two raiding mages, one of whom has been unavailable for a while. The other mage has been jokingly complaining for weeks about the cost of reagents for mage tables to feed us shiftless leeches. Tonight, this conversation ensued:

Mage: omg Arcane Powder stacks to 100!
Me: And yet you’ll still bitch about not having reagents for tables. ;-)
Mage: Only if the guild pays for my reagents. [paraphrased]
Me: We don’t subsidise anyone else’s… ;)
Mage: Yes, but I’m not just anybody :)
Me: This is true, you’re not anybody.
Mage: Hey!
Mage: It costs 1g per arcane powder, and I just bought 100, so just send my bank alt 100g
Me: Actually, it costs 8s per arcane powder.
Other Paladin: That’s the last time I pay for a reagent to buff him.
Me: So it costs you 8s to buff the raid, and 40s to put up a table.
Mage: Not only will you not pay me, you don’t believe you when I tell you how much they cost – I’m hurt
Me: I am looking at a reagent vendor right here! :D
Mage: He lies. Never did trust that reagent vendor.
Me: I should note that it costs me 8.4s to buff the raid
Me: So it costs me MORE to buff the raid than you
Other Paladin: Us!
Me: Not to mention I have to cast 7 times to your once. [I’m usually on Blessing of Wisdom, for the 7 mana-using classes.]
Mage: Well, my buffs last longer!
Me: True!
Mage: Hmm, that doesn’t help me actually… forget that.
Me: So it costs me twice what it costs you!
Other Paladin: OMG! We have to buff TWICE on top of that…
Me: Per hour, it costs me 16.8s to buff the raid and requires 14 button presses
Mage: Ok, this isn’t going the way I wanted it to
Me: Per hour, it costs you 8s to buff the raid and requires one button press
Mage: lalalalalalalala
Other Paladin: It’s now clear exactly how much you suck!
Me: Oh, and if you have a second mage in the raid, you only have to pay half the buffing costs; we have to do a buff each.
Mage: I have to put a table down – that’s 5 arcane powder!
Mage: HAH checkmate
Me: Over the duration of a raid, assuming you’re the only mage, it costs me 35.2 silver more to buff the raid
Mage: I said checkmate … that means I win
Me: Therefore, the guild bank will pay you 4.8s per raid to put down a table and not bitch about it.
Other Paladin: Can I kick him from the guild?
Me: Oh, and you still only have to do 5 keypresses for that, as compared to my 28.
Other Paladin: Actually, I’d pay twice that if he didn’t bitch, personally.
Mage: I’m going AFK, you all suck!
Me: In conclusion, hand over the strudel and no-one gets hurt!
Me: I am so blogging this.
Mage: Typical. :P

Moral of the story: never argue with a paladin who’s trying to procrastinate away her dailies!

Edit: I should clarify: the mage in question is the very epitome of ‘friendly, helpful players’, and the day he seriously refuses to buff because of reagent costs is the day I check to see whether he’s been replaced by an alien.

(My guide for spotting it is going to be: if he can blink when he tries, instead of iceblocking, summoning his water elemental or summoning his mirror images – then he’s been replaced by an alien!)

16 thoughts on “Sometimes Buffs Don’t Help!”

  1. “Hand over the streudel and no one gets hurt.”

    The above is why I never want to see anyone bitch about buff reagent costs. If you’re the Kings paladin, and no one dies over a 4 hour raid, you’re looking at 10 classes that need to be buffed 8 times… 80 buffs! To the mages 4 plus a table! If I hear another mage b!tch about arcane powder, they’re getting a mace in the mouth.

  2. You’ll be glad to hear that you’ve converted a mage away from whining every raid. I’ve always had a strict rule of 2 Arcane Brilliance maximum per wipe (sometimes people are out of range or w/e), and 1 mage table per 25-man raid (10-mans I’ll hand-trade you the food).

    In fact, I’ve gotten the reputation in my guild so heavily, that whenever an “unknown” person wipes the raid by pulling early, it’s never blamed on me, as “Salad would never get himself killed on purpose, imagine him having to pay cloth repair bills!”

    Anyway, you’ve done good in this world, and converted a mage to the bright side. I’ll be sure to let all the other mages know. Thanks for the new look on life Siha, =)

  3. Thanks for the laugh, Siha, that was great. I’ve never heard anyone gripe about reagent costs, we just get the ‘OMG, gold to repair!’ The simple truth? If you want to raid, it’s going to cost you!

  4. Despite the dialogue, I think I can pick out which mage that is. I affectionately call him Mr. CrankyPants. Don’t worry, his/her secret is safe with me.

    Totems take tedious buffing to a whole new level. Four seconds every pull or other significant move. I won’t compare it to pallybuffing (been there, done that).

  5. Ever notice how much you get yelled at as a pally to give em might when there is a battleshout warrior overriding your buffs? I swear I want to kill them sometimes for their whining, of course as the healer I could always not heal them…..

  6. Thankfully, my raiders are pretty smart about that kind of thing. At most, someone might say early in the night ‘hey, is anyone buffing might’, we’d say ‘nah, X overrides it’, and it wouldn’t be a problem. I realise I’m lucky in that regard, though!

  7. “Hand over the streudel and no one gets hurt.”

    Heh,I’m totally stealing that line.

    I’m the guild pally (small guild), I carry 100 symbols of kings AND 100 arcane powder (and a stack of portal runes). It is just easier then listening to the mage wine. Well that and the mage is my wife.

    Anyway, I wanted to say great article and not sound lame, but somehow I can’t avoid the lame today. At least I get to say: great article! Very funny. Good use of color too (ok, I made that last bit up, I’m trying for “not lame”, but even I can see the fail *sigh*)

  8. As an impartial outside observer I thought the mage made a perfectly legitimate argument and should be subsidized for the use of arcane powder. I … I mean he … also forgot to mention the fact that the mage has to open a portal at the end of the raid too! There’s another 16s if you don’t mind. Man raiding is expensive … I’m going to lie down :(

  9. This post is officially made of WIN!

    *mutters something about the cost of arrows per raid*

    *hugs unamed mage*

  10. Funny, we had nearly the same discussion about reparations costs for tanks within the guild. Then I began to talk about my blue or even normal ammo, plus pet food… People stoped arguing… :D

    First comment for me I think, so I just want to add, I like reading your blog. Keep on !


  11. @ Wildence – Don’t forget the extra 16s for the portal to Exodar…
    @ Tiggrr/Nefernet – So true. Either the guild bank would be broke from subsidising us hunters, or we’d be guildless! :P

  12. Hmmph. What about us Priests? Sure, I can buff the raid with Prayer of Fort for 20s, but then I also have to buff 5 groups with Prayer of Shadow Prot: That’s a gold right there!

    And that’s before the first wipe. :(

    (Yes, I’ve been the only Priest in a 25-man raid. Ouch.)

    Seriously (more or less), great, funny article, Siha. :) And in my guild, my priests fight over who gets to buff: It’s not uncommon to see PoF get cast 3 times before everyone is happy.

  13. Rofl… I can guess who this mage is!

    Hey, it costs us more than that D, there’s the ports to Exodar, Theramore, Darnassus or anywhere else the raid doesn’t want to go ;)

  14. You also forgot to mention that Paladins basically have to install a mod (Pallypower) due to the incredibly lame pally buffing system that only gets more confusing the more paladins that you have, not to mention whether or not someone has a better blessing or there are several classes that want different buffs. For instance we have two paladins in our 10 man raid and 4(!) druids. Two ferals (one tank) a boomkin and a resto. Im prot and my friend is holy. The tank feral wants kings and sanctuary. The DPS feral wants Kings and imp Might, the Boomkin & Tree want kings and imp wisdom. You can see where this is going. Prot paladins cant do kings and sanctuary at the same time, and dont usually have imp wisdom or imp might. Some get improved buffs some not, some are getting constantly rebuffed. Its a real pain.

    Dear whining Mage…. take your arcane powder and stuff it.

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